If you're scared, I'm scared
by Love From A Muggle
Summary: Who knew sixth year would be full of emotions? One minute Hermione's fine, the next she's crying, and then she's angry at everyone. She finds comfort in someone with whom she thought would never understand her. A gift for Monse.


_Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Any character or place you recognize belongs to the wonderful J.K.R. I only own the plot._

_Author's note: This was written as a gift for my beta Slytherin Head, who happens to love Severus Snape/Hermione Granger. This is my first full story with the paring. If the characters seem a little OOC, I'm sorry I tried my best. I wrote Hermione by adding a little bit of me in there. What I would do in her shoes. M for some small parts. Enjoy!_

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><p><em>They don't know<em>

_They can't see_

_Who we are_

_Fear is the enemy_

_Hold on tight_

_Hold on to me'_

_Cause tonight_

_It's all about us _

_All about us-_

_song by T.a.t.u_

I heard a muffled cry coming from an empty classroom as I was making my rounds. It was one of my nights where I wasn't worrying about Harry or arguing with Ron over some rubbish. I tiptoed to the classroom, peeked in and was surprised with what I saw.

Professor Severus Snape was crying. I couldn't believe it. Out of all the years I have been at Hogwarts, I had never seen a professor cry, let alone Severus Snape. I didn't think he had feelings. He was always so cold towards students, especially the Gryffindors. I peeked through the crack in the doorway, but suddenly the door shut itself as I leaned forward. I froze, and hoped he didn't see me standing there. I started to turn away, running from the scene and tripped as I ran. I fell to the floor in an instant and heard him come out of the room. I quickly hid behind a statue.

"I know you're there. Spying on someone isn't nice. I'll give you a detention for that." Professor Snape held out his light wand in my direction. I couldn't do anything but hold my breath. He came forward to where I was hiding. I knew it was a matter of time before I was found. Stepping out from the shadows, he jumped back. Whomever he was expecting, it wasn't me. I knew that from his look of fear on his face. Something scared him.

"Granger? What on earth are you doing out this late?" He demanded.

"Prefect duties," I said suddenly. It was the truth after all.

"Yes, but you don't belong in the Dungeons." He said. Confusion etched on his face as he continued staring at me. I could see tear streaks on his face from where he had been crying.

"I know. I was on my way to the kitchens and made a wrong turn." He'd have to believe me.

"You were spying on me." He accused me, as I knew he would.

"No, sir. I wasn't. I was making my rounds."

"But prefects don't get lost. By now, you're in your sixth year and know how to get around Hogwarts. What were you really up to? I know you of all people don't get lost." He glared at me.

"Oh all right. I was heading to the kitchens, and wound up here." Why was I lying?

"Why?"

"I don't know. Professor, why were you crying?" I couldn't help but blurt it out. He was acting jumpy for some reason and a part of me wanted to figure it out.

"I was NOT crying. Miss Granger, you just earned yourself a detention for lying about a teacher's emotions. Saturday night, eight o'clock. My office or I'll take 50 points from Gryffindor. If you tell ANYONE whatever you think you saw, I will take more points." Professor Snape yelled.

"That's not fair." I found myself raising my voice because he raised his.

"Life isn't fair Granger." He sounded as if he learned the lesson the hard way.

"I wasn't doing anything at all except what I was suppose to be doing. You've always been unfair to us Gryffindors, and especially to me," I said as I lowered my voice.

"Leave now." Severus turned around and faced his door.

"You're scared about something." I knew it was bold telling a professor he was scared, but I could tell in how he over reacted over little things.

He stood in the threshold of his door with out moving. Suddenly, he turned around and ran up to me. He stood so close to me I could feel his breath as he opened his mouth to talk.

"Never accuse me of being scared. You have no idea what you are talking about and before you go running your mouth on anything, I have just taken five points from Gryffindor. Now leave the Dungeons before anything else happens." He threatened. I held in my breath. I was scared now.

"And men think women are full of emotions," I don't know where that came from it just came to my mind and I blurted it out. I knew I was in for it now. Professor Snape backed away, confused again.

"I don't know what you are talking about." He stated telling the truth.

"You men think women cry over every little thing, and when we're asked what's wrong, women are automatically upset at men again, because men are too stupid to realize why we're even upset in the first place. You men have the same emotions we do, you just hide it better. Just so you know, you're not the only one who is scared." My inner secret came out.

Of course I was scared. I was scared all the time about Harry doing something stupid like he usually does, and getting himself into trouble. And I was scared for Ron, how he could play Quidditch, I'll never know. I don't like the game.

"And what, pray tell, would Miss Granger be scared about?" he crossed his arms against his chest eager to know what was scaring me.

"Why should I tell you? I'm allowed to have secrets kept to myself. I don't have to tell everyone everything, you know."

"I thought know-it-alls told everyone everything and liked telling them everything." He knew he was getting to me. I hated being called a know-it-all. He told me every time I had Potions with him, and even though he was teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts, he still called me a know-it-all.

"Don't call me a know-it-all," I demanded, getting hot in the face because he was making me angry.

"Don't tell anyone I was crying." He admitted it. I had managed to get it out of him. Whatever it was.

"Deal." I said as I held my hand out for him to shake it.

He looked at me and rolled his eyes. He shook my hand, held it in his for a moment and then didn't let go. I felt the years of a hard life by feeling the calloused fingers against my soft skin. He didn't pull back automatically and I didn't release my grasp from his hand right away. I stared at him, taking in what was going on. Confusion came over me as he continued to stare. A teacher and a student were not suppose to be friends. In an instant I understood why he was scared. He knew what was going to happen to him at the end of the year. Harry himself said what was going to happen.

I let go of his hand and turned away, hoping he wouldn't catch that I knew what he was afraid of. As weird as it sounds, Hogwarts has been his home most of his life. He was afraid of change, and was scared for his fate. He cleared his throat.

"Detention doesn't always have to be bad. Miss Granger. I'm not forcing you to go, but it's just a suggestion if you really want to learn what I'm scared of." He said quietly. I nodded slowly, and started to run.

I came to Gryffindor tower just as the clock stroke midnight.

"Don't you know you're late?" The Fat Lady said in a drunken tone towards me. She was with her friend Violet again and they had been drinking.

I ignored her, muttered the password, and stormed inside. To my surprise Harry and Ron were still up. They were the only ones in the common room.

"Where have you been?" Ron asked as soon as he saw me panting.

"Library," I lied. Since when did I start lying to my best friends? They don't need to know where I really was. Harry eyed me suspiciously.

"How was Quidditch practice?" I asked the two of them getting the subject off of me. Harry continued to stare me down, as if he knew I was up to something. I joined them by the fire.

"Fine." Harry replied. He didn't take his eyes off of me. "Hermione, if you were in the Library, where are your books?" he said. I felt the color leave my face.

"I must have left them there." I said lying again. "I'm going to bed." I said suddenly, jumping off the chair. I knew I had worried Harry. I wasn't acting like myself at all and I had no idea why.

I started towards the girl's dorm and was interrupted by Harry. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Ron was still doing his homework.

"Hermione, what's gotten into you? You're not yourself," I tried going past Harry.

"Harry, I'm tired. Prefect duties kept me up way later than when I should have gone to bed." I said.

"So you weren't in the Library. Why did you lie? You've only lied to us once before, but something's different about you this time than last time." He gave me a concerned look.

"Someone's got to keep up with Prefect duties. Even if others get distracted." I replied eying Ron.

"You know Quidditch means the world to him. His first game's this week. Can't you give the guy a break? You two are always going at it." Harry asked me.

"You think I like being the 'bad guy' all the time? Nagging him about every little thing? It's a job for his mum, which I am not. Someone has to keep the school in tact so it might as well be me. I'm off to bed Harry. I've had a bad night." I spoke in a tired tone as I walked past Harry.

The week passed by slowly. I kept getting looks from Snape whenever I saw him in the hallway, or in class. As much as I hated to admit it, he was pretty good at teaching the Dark Arts. He really knew his stuff.

On Thursday evening, I was alone in the Library when Madam Pince came up to me.

"You've had an owl delivered here." She said as she handed me my note. I was so confused. Who could have sent me a letter?

"Thank you." I said as she eyed me suspiciously. I hid the letter from her view. Gathering my things quickly, I walked out. Once outside, and when I knew I was alone, I took out the note to examine it. I wasn't familiar with the handwriting but knew I've seen it somewhere. I tore it open and felt my insides flip flop.

"**Detention, Friday Night 8 o'clock in my office. You'll be organizing my files for me." **

He changed the date from Saturday to Friday, but why I wondered? I folded it neatly in my pocket and headed to Gryffindor tower.

Gryffindor was full of life for a Thursday evening. Everyone was excited that the weekend was almost there. I managed to find my way through the crowd and head to the dorm.

"Hey Hermione, do you have a moment?" Harry made his way through the crowd as I stopped to say a quick hello.

"Harry, I've just come from the Library and need to go do my prefect duties." I said as he approached me.

"Come watch Ron on Friday at practice. You've only been to the first tryouts and haven't seen him since." Harry invited me.

"Has he improved?" I asked eying Harry.

"Honestly, yes. He is surprisingly good. We haven't seen you all week since you've been using your time to go to the library a lot." Harry said.

"Well I can't Friday," I said surprising myself.

"Why?" His green eyes stared me down, as if they were trying to get the truth out of me.

"I'm going to the Library," I lied. He knew I was lying.

"Seriously Hermione, what's gotten into you? You're acting strange." Harry said.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Worry about Ron."

I left him alone looking puzzled and hurt. I ran to my room, made sure no one was in there, and flew onto my bed as I started to cry.

I awoke the next morning, my prefect duties forgotten the night before. The day dragged on as I tried my best to pay attention. Finally, the day was over. Harry and Ron waited for me as I slowly packed my things together from Defense Against The Dark arts.

"Hermione, Harry says you're not coming to practice tonight." Ron approached me first as I picked up my bag.

"No, Ron. I only went to the tryouts to see if you made it. Now that you have, you don't need me there." I said honestly.

"What do you mean?" He looked hurt; the excitement from his voice gone.

"You have all the other girls now, and don't need me cheering you on."

I said that as Lavender smiled at Ron as she walked past the two of us.

"Lavender?" Ron was clueless. It was obvious she fancied him. She tried getting his attention every time she walked past him. It had started to get on my nerves.

"Don't pretend you haven't noticed. I've seen the way you look at her when you think no one's looking. You don't need me anymore. I'm sure she'll be there to cheer you on." I knew I had caught him. It was true; he did have a crush on her.

I turned around, away from Ron, and ran out of the common room. Someone looked up as I came out in a hurry. It was Harry.

"Whatever it is you want to talk about Harry, I'm in no mood to talk." I said rudely. I brushed the hair back from my face and for the first time I noticed he wasn't alone. He was with Ginny. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"Excuse me?" Harry looked so confused. His eyebrows came together as he raised them. He eyed Ginny and whispered in her ear. I happened to hear him say 'is it her time of month?' which makes my face grow if possible, even redder.

"For your information _Harry_," I start as I emphasize his name so he knows I'm angry at all men in general, "I'm not on my time of month, thank you very much. I just ran into Ron, who's completely oblivious that Lavender likes him, and doesn't even know I exist. And then, I come out here seeing you two together, so whatever you have to say just keep it to yourselves." I finished up. 'What was going on with me? I've never felt angry towards anyone at all.' I thought as they stared in amazement.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Ginny asks with deep concern in her voice.

"I'm _FINE_." I find myself almost shouting.

They stared at me, both worried but scared of the new Hermione. I turned on my heels, and left them alone. As I turned the corridor, I waited until I knew I was out of their sight. I leaned against the wall of the castle, and sunk to the floor with my back against the wall. I started crying right then and there. 'What on earth has come over me? Why was I feeling angry one minute, and then crying the next?' I thought.

As the mooon's rays peeked through the clouds and landed on the castle wall across from me, it dawned on me what I needed the most. Everyone had someone, but me. I was really, truly alone and no one knew how it felt. But someone did know. He knew how I felt, and he was there all along, I just didn't realize it until now.

I somehow managed to get up, hold my breath, and closed my eyes knowing what and whom I wanted at that exact moment. All the changes of sixth year came to this exact moment.

My legs carried me to the Dungeons of Hogwarts, but stop dead in the entrance of them as if they were full of lead like the Knight in the Gryffindor Corridor. I felt my heart pounding. I grasped for the wall for support before moving on. 'Was I really ready for this?' I thought. I didn't know, but knew I was ready to do something Hermione Granger normally wouldn't do.

**Five more steps.**

_There, I can make it. I just have to lift my feet to walk._

**Four more steps. **

_I'm crazy. This is a stupid idea._

**Three more steps.**

_I'm so close to I can almost feel him in there._

**Two more steps.**

_Turn away Hermione, this isn't you. You're not one who would go off and do this._

**One more step.**

_I'm at his door now. No turning back._

I closed my eyes, breathed in and out, and opened my eyes as my hand opened the door. He isn't there, and by some weird feeling, I was very upset about him not being in his room. Wait, he's a _t e a c h e r._. He'd be in his _o f f I c e_. And I picked up my feet again, making them walk to his office and open the door.

"Granger?" He dropped the potions flask he was fiddling with and stood there, dumbfounded. The flask fell to the ground, and shattered. He didn't pick it up right away. His eyes stared at me. He wondered why I came. I watched his eyes dart to the broken glass, and his mind choosing to ignore cleaning it up.

"Did you forget something the other night? Or did you come back to see if you can catch me crying again. Well, guess what little miss know-it-all-you caught me doing school work." Snape finished in a snappy tone.

"You think the whole world revolves around you, don't you? Typical men!" I picked up the nearest book and threw it near him. I was angry at all men in general. Especially him.

In my mind, I felt horrible for throwing the book at him. I wanted to make it up to him somehow. Professor Snape froze completely as I slowly made my way towards him. In the dim light, he actually looked kind of _sexy_.

I stood beside him. I didn't want to step in the broken glass in front of him. He stared at me with his mouth open. As I stood on my tiptoes, leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. When our lips brushed against each other, I took two steps back and stood in horror.

For the first time not knowing what to do. Horror came over me as I realized why and where I was and what just happened. It was as though I was in a daze, and almost did something even more drastic. The real Hermione came out by shaking her head, putting her hand to her head and bit my lip.

"Oh sweet Merlin!" escaped my lips as I realized what I just did. I stared at him shocked, and turned to leave. Back, out of his office and into his classroom.

"Hermione, wait," He said softly. It was his turn to act differently towards me. I automatically turned around from hearing my first name called for the first time. Our eyes locked as he came close to me.

"I'm a stupid girl. I shouldn't have come." Honesty seemed to be the theme for tonight. I didn't want to say why I came, but knew he had the right to know. Deep down inside the hard exterior of my professor was a soft, gentle lover waiting to escape. He had been buried inside like the genie buried in the lamp in the muggle story. I gulped.

"But you did come," he said calmly. I stared deeply into his eyes. He wanted it too. Wanted everything I wanted.

"I'm scared." I whisper.

"If you're scared, I'm scared," he admitted, taking my hand.

You would think it felt awkward holding a professor's hands, let alone Severus Snape's, but it felt oh so right. I don't know how to explain it. Standing in front of me was a greasy haired, short-tempered, mean, old man, but to me he was kind. Even though he yelled at me often during Potions, he was kind to me at this very moment.

"Do you know why I came?" I felt myself asking him. He nodded slightly in understanding.

"You feel lonely." He said, as if he felt the same. I felt like he was reading my thoughts.

"I never did say thank you by the way," I managed to get out.

"Why?" He looked at me confused.

"Third year. You saved us from what could have been a disaster."

He nodded in understanding. "I was only protecting my students. I did what any teacher would have done." Professor Snape cleared his throat.

"Professor-" I started to say.

"Severus," he interrupted.

"What?"

"Call me Severus," He pleaded. He moved closer to me. I felt my heart beat faster.

"Hermione," whispered from the lips of a scared man standing before me.

"How long have you felt this way?" I whispered.

"Two years." he answered. "And you?"

"Since this year."

And then it happened this time, a deeper kiss than the one I gave him in his office. I don't know how, but the next thing I knew I was kissing a professor again. And it wasn't just a quick peck on the lips like the previous one, It was one I've never experienced before. Two people wanted three things, safety, comfort, and each other. It was a kiss no one could explain, but us. We stood, kissing, alone in his classroom. And then I pulled apart, pushed him away, and turned around.

"This can't happen again." I said quietly as I placed my head in my hands wanting to cry.

He stepped closer to me, wrapped his arms against my waist and forced me to turn my head so I could see him.

"One last time." He said pleading with sadness in his eyes. He ached to be with someone, to have someone hold him. I wondered when the last time it was that he was loved.

I hesitated before I asked him something I wanted to know.

'When was the last time you were loved?' I thought as I studied his hurt in his eyes. I remembered Harry talking about how Snape loved his mum and spoke quietly.

"I won't compare to her." I said suddenly.

"Who?" He asked, automatically knowing.

"Her. You know." I said, not wanting to breathe her name.

"I never kissed her." It was as though I could feel his heart breaking inside. Another heartache would make him meaner, but he was a teacher and I was a student. He was supposed to hate me because of whom my best friend was.

"Give me one more night Hermione, and I can prove to you that you're far different than she is. You still have your detention." He gave me a weak smile.

"I'm scared." I said once more.

"So am I."

"Tomorrow night?" I turned around and faced him.

"Please?" he begged once more.

"Only for you." I say. And then I left him all alone in his classroom—a scared, little, greasy haired man, crying.

**Author's note: Special Thanks to Queen Of Loopholes for betaing this story for me.**

**Please review before favoring.**

**Complete.**


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